things are not as fantabulous as they're made out to be. i decided these are a few on my list... not all of which i've personally experienced. ^_^

SEX ON THE BEACH
sand in your arse. not the ideal predicament in the throes of passion. unf. unf. unf. unf. "ah crap! i've got sand in my fanny. hang on. can you brush it off? no not there. to the left. yeap there. ok." unf. unf. unf. "ah dammit. i've got sand in my arse now. fuck this."

STILLETOS
yes they look great on the shelf and on long legged model-type women. but fuck do they hurt like hell. and they make my "chicken legs" look like chopsticks.

CANDLELIT DINNERS
romantic? well i guess it is. but it's too bloody dark to see what you're putting in your mouth. i like seeing what i'm going to digest. plus, wouldn't it be a disaster if someone knocked over the candles and set the table on fire? sure, it would be a night to remember. but really... i don't think i'd be very happy if i discover flames licking my expensive dress (specially bought for that night) aND having a burnt to death dinner.

WATCHING FIREFLIES FROM A BOAT
in kuala selangor. swamp area. infested with mosquitoes. you end up concentrating more on swatting mosquitoes every two seconds than the beauty of the fireflies. and then paranoia hits and you start jerking around like a spaz (no offense) because u have visions of bloodsucking bitches sucking your life away. or is that just me?

ORAL SEX
kidding!! you thought for a moment there, "wat the hell is wrong with this girl?!" am i right? am i right?" ^_^