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Tuesday, October 18, 2005
i forgot how to make new friends seriously. it's been so long since i've made new friends of my own accord. i'm terribly anti-social like that. unless you've been introduced to me by a friend, or you start talking to me first and you're not some sleazy arrogant guy who wants a quick fuck.... i won't talk to you. that's the way i work. i know it's terrible and it sounds awfully snobbish. but it's not because i think i'm better than everyone else. fuck no. it's just because i'm shy. really. otherwise why the hell would i be hiding behind this blog and writing happy nonsense stuff? i hate all that small talk. not because i don't want to know about which damn school you were from or what job title you hold which i have no idea what it means anyway. it's just because i'm terrible at it. i'm not a conversationalist. i listen. i smile. i laugh. i respond. that's all the conversational skill i have if i don't know you. i don't like all that first impression stuff. i feel like i'm a poodle entering a dog show and being judged for not having the perfect walk or the perfect pompom tail. it's like in that first meeting, people try to assess each other. they try to summarise a person in the first meeting. but we all know first impressions are mostly wrong. people sure as hell get the wrong impressions of me. the most common misconceptions of me: - i've slept with many more guys than i actually have - i smoke (ok i only do it once in awhile) - i'm a party animal (i'm the complete opposite!) - i'm alcoholic - i think i'm more australian than malaysian all of the above are WRONG!! i wouldn't go so far as to say i'm socially inept. i'm just afraid of people. look at all the weird people out there. how do i know you're not some weirdo who likes collecting feet. hence... i tend to stick to people i know and wait for introductions or for people to talk to me. Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 4:38 pm 
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2 random retorts
wah, then if i see u around the city n say hie .. and get no reply .. so the memalufying ritE?! o.O
haha no like i said... if you talk to me i'll talk to you. =)
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