after a slightly mortifying conversation with clarence about aging and all the wrinkly saggy times we have ahead of us, he spits out a genius comment.

talking to paul ling (of all ppl)
we came to a morbid conclusion
like any other living organism, we are simply sacks of meat rotting awayrot rot rot... every moment

so basically... humans are walking composts. oh joy.

which then brings me to an incident which left me traumatised for a good ten minutes (i have a short attention span). second degree murder.

it all started when i was deeply concentrating on my task of slicing snowpeas. i'm obssessive compulsive, you see, and i like symmetry. meanwhile, my mum was chattering away on the phone when paul pokes his grey-topped head through the flyscreen door.

"sweetie! you better come out in your boots." mum's mouth immediately clamped shut as she registers the meaning behind his words.

"uh oh. another snake?"

"yeaaap."

mum puts on her knee high gum boots and marches purposefully into the garden, paul following closely behind.

"where?"

he points to the vegie cage.

paul notices a large rock by his feet and picks it up. "this should do the job," and he hauls the rock straight at the unknowing tiger snake. "damn. missed." he picks up another rock and smashes it on the snake from a distance. "not quite." and another one.

the rock hits its target and smashes into the poor snake, its abdomen crushed into two-dimensional flatness, blood seeping out, its life force draining away slowly with it. trapped under the sewer lid, we watched as it writhed in pain, struggling to slither away in escape.

a great wave of sadness washed over me as i watched the tragedy unfold. "can't you end its pain sooner?" apparently not. tiger snakes are one of the deadliest snakes and have the ability to spit out venom a fair distance. the best we could do was leave it to die slowly, under extreme pain, trapped.

in order to protect ourselves from potential danger, we murdered an innocent creature, unaware of the danger it posed. one moment happily slithering. the next, feeling death creep over slowly, painfully. every breath, torturous.

life is cruel.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

liberated

headed down to the beach today. warm breeze. 28 degrees. an entire beach ALL to myself. and my mission: nude sunbathing.

it is the most liberating feeling. prancing around on a beach nude. in fact, it was FUCKING AWESOME! ah the joys of life. sweet sweet life.

too much information for you? well too bad. DEAL WITH IT! nyahaha.

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 8:36 pm

2 random retorts

At 6:26 pm,  Anonymous rebutted...

No pics? hur hur

 

At 5:00 pm,  Alysia S. rebutted...

how much u willing to pay for the pics? haha. who is this btw?

 

Post a Comment

i learned...

some new things at the dentist yesterday.

lesson #1.
dentists are scary. what possesses a person into thinking, "when i grow up i want to stick my fingers in people's mouths and stare at their bleeding infected gums and inflict a good amount of pain." at least brazilian waxists make boyfriends happy!! but dentists... ?

lesson#2.
"never eat prunes when you are famished" from a poster of murphy's law stuck on the ceiling.

he had his instrument of death in my mouth, hitting nerves as he went along.

think happy thoughts. think happy thoughts.
never eat prunes when you are famished. never eat prunes when you are famished.
why?
OWWW YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
never eat prunes when you are famished. anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
oh great. that's encouraging.
OW FUCK!! don't go there. please don't go there. nonononono not thereeee... FUCK FUCK FUCK damn sensitive!!
how much longer? oh no, he's not even halfway done. DIEdieDIEdieDIE.
never eat prunes when you are fam...FUCKFUCKFUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!

that was possibly the longest ten minutes of my life.

ALL that. just for cleaning my teeth. thank god i don't need braces!!

WHAT??!! i'm allergic to pain okaaaayyyyy...

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 1:12 am

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Monday, November 22, 2004

what a PINK day

WEDNESDAY

u just kNOw pink is in season when everyone wears it. there i am at the airport strutting around wearing my pink tank top and denim. emma rocks up to pick me up. in a pink top and denim skirt. we head to angela's house to meet up with her. she was wearing a pink top and denim skirt. so by this time, we're thinking... "we are not walking around like this!" off to niki's house by the beach. niki greets us at the door. surprise surprise. WEARING A PINK TOP AND DENIM SKIRT!!

WAT THEEEEEEEE...!!

nick (niki's boy) looks at us and bursts out laughing. "are you serious?" he guffaws. niki and emma couldn't get changed any faster. situation rectified.

*fast forward boring details*

off to the Espy we went with one mission in mind. TO GET DRUNK at happy hour. can u believe it? $6 vodka red bulls?! OMG i was so happy. SIX DOLLARS!! eeeeeexxxccceeellent. *twiddling fingers*

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 11:48 pm

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Sunday, November 21, 2004

happy birthday to you... happy birthday to me

because i'm hopeless with birthdays, i have to make myself a birthday list between now and mid-december. so... to the following people:

- stewart
- brian
- nic
- dfs cam
- alky ben
- niki
- camilo
- marv
- yee wei
- noelle
- audrey
- godmother christine
- godmother pat
- ME
- roshan

happy bloody birthday!

and i soooo know i've forgotten a few people. ah well. that's just scatterbrain me.

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 1:42 am

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Saturday, November 20, 2004

sometimes...

things are not as fantabulous as they're made out to be. i decided these are a few on my list... not all of which i've personally experienced. ^_^

SEX ON THE BEACH
sand in your arse. not the ideal predicament in the throes of passion. unf. unf. unf. unf. "ah crap! i've got sand in my fanny. hang on. can you brush it off? no not there. to the left. yeap there. ok." unf. unf. unf. "ah dammit. i've got sand in my arse now. fuck this."

STILLETOS
yes they look great on the shelf and on long legged model-type women. but fuck do they hurt like hell. and they make my "chicken legs" look like chopsticks.

CANDLELIT DINNERS
romantic? well i guess it is. but it's too bloody dark to see what you're putting in your mouth. i like seeing what i'm going to digest. plus, wouldn't it be a disaster if someone knocked over the candles and set the table on fire? sure, it would be a night to remember. but really... i don't think i'd be very happy if i discover flames licking my expensive dress (specially bought for that night) aND having a burnt to death dinner.

WATCHING FIREFLIES FROM A BOAT
in kuala selangor. swamp area. infested with mosquitoes. you end up concentrating more on swatting mosquitoes every two seconds than the beauty of the fireflies. and then paranoia hits and you start jerking around like a spaz (no offense) because u have visions of bloodsucking bitches sucking your life away. or is that just me?

ORAL SEX
kidding!! you thought for a moment there, "wat the hell is wrong with this girl?!" am i right? am i right?" ^_^

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 12:53 am

1 random retorts

At 1:53 am,  jeanchristie rebutted...

yeah..i like to see what i eat and not eating something crunchy which u think has a "nutty flavour" to it and it turns out to be a cockroach *ew*

bout the fireflies thingie..cant say much cuz when i went with my family and my dad's company ppl..we were all well covered AHAHHAHA.. but beautiful firefliess

 

Post a Comment

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

farewell

for now

in about 7 hours i shall be shutting down my connection, turning off my baby and hopping on a plane to adelaide. i shall miss my baby. having no internet connection makes me feel handicapped. sad but true.

i
am
a
net
junkie

i've been packing constantly for the last day and a half. i even dreamt about packing. fucking stress sial. thanks to my ineffeciency, i am now getting another bloody canker sore. it's stress i tell you. stress causes everything doesn't it?

*random thought* My legs desperately need a shave. gonna be 33 degrees tomorrow!! YAAAAYYYYY!! good shit mate.

and i'm outta here. sadly. gonna miss melbourne. and beow & ally. *sniff* see you guys in phuket!!

i felt so loved. ally and beow came over and kept me company on my last night here. AND beow cooked some lovely steak for dinner. yum yum. big thank you.

you're a legend mate!

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 4:42 am

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

whOa!!

reporting live from lishaz room

packing is such a tedious chore. and i have to pack aLL my stuff by tomorrow before i leave to ki. 3 boxes done so far. at the rate i'm going, it looks like i'll need TEN bloody boxes.

i keep finding all these old clothes (and i thought i'd given them away!!) which make me think "fuck i used to be a bloody skinny bitch. and skanky too. yech!" finding tops i completely forgot about is quite disconcerting. all those times i thought i had nothing to wear... hours wasted.

+ + + + +

just found our old cable modem. wtf am i supposed to do with it? *grumble*

+ + + + +

OMG oxygen mask pleeaaase!! all this dust is killing meeeee.

+ + + + +

ooooh. all these skanky clothes. will my parents kill me if i give them to my 11 yr old sister? hmmm. yes i think they will.

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 1:12 pm

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Monday, November 15, 2004

a DFS farewell

three farewells in three days. that's enough to run a person's spirit down to the ground. but the food and drinks that come with farewells makes it almost worthwhile. *big smile*

mission : introduce nic to don giovanni at tiamo 2 before leaving.

thumbs up to bryan for the muchos fabuloso dinner on saturday night. LOTS of prawns. or-chian (oyster omelette). and lo chu yuk. YUM.

naturally, we headed down to next blue for farewell drinks... much to the AA's dismay, there was no chivas. no johnny. not even frangelico. cam was seething with rage. the looks of dismay were a classic kodak moment.

classic random event. i went to the bar to grab some water. yeah. i was a little too tipsy. just as i'm about to pay, some random guy yells at the waitress and says he'll pay for it. i protest indignantly. but of course, the world is just full of sexism. naturally she takes his money and gives me an apologetic smile. "oh shit. now i guess i'll have to talk to him," i thought to myself.

"hi! what's your name?"
"alysia."
"i'm long!" i give him a funny look.
"long??"
he spreads his arms lengthwise. "yeah. long!"
okaaayyyyy....

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 7:32 pm

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Sunday, November 14, 2004

OMFG

i have not been so fucking drunk since errr... may? vodka red bulls make your heart speed up to 130 beats per muinute. that's pretty damn psycho shit. yeah i timef it whihle taking a shit in the unixes toilets.

mmm... don't mind my spelling here. oh fuck. drunkenness. time for me to go pass out.

threw up in the toilets of next blue. classy shit. while throwing up (in the unisex toilets), wayne jumps over the cubicle.

"you are damn lame! stop throwing up! you are damn lame!"

gee he really knows how to comfort a girl.

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 4:41 am

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Saturday, November 13, 2004

abandoned

i hate feeling abandoned. *sigh* cast aside. left behind. alone. ^_^ ok i'm over-dramatising(?) here.

rudy just hopped onto the plane to fly thousands of miles away into the northern hemisphere. nic will be abandoning me on sunday morning as well. *sigh* and i will be left here with the joy of packing all my stuff into boxes ready to be moved.

move where? i don't know. i'm kinda homeless at the moment. hmmmm. change is good. i like change. change is different. different is good. means next year will be good. i think. that's how lisha-logic works.

i miss rudy already. damn it. he better be missing me too. *ponder* no... he'll be too busy watching movies / playing games / reading books to miss me yet. i shall just crawl into my cold bed and hide under the sheets.

yay.

this is what happens when you are attached. you don't realise you have that attachment until it's taken away. like an extra leg you never noticed, until someone comes along and hacks it off with a chainsaw. no matter how annoying that extra leg might have been, you start to miss it when it's gone.

awwww. aren't i sweet? comparing rudy to a redundant spare body part. okaaaayyyyy... i need sleep.

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 4:30 am

1 random retorts

At 10:22 pm,  Anonymous rebutted...

Us guys have 3 legs to start with. Harder to seperate.

-FatCat

 

Post a Comment

Thursday, November 11, 2004

i HATE HATE HATE moths

and there were two in my room last night. not one. but TWO of the fuckers. i have nothing against them. apart from the fact that they freak the hell out of me.

thankfully, super rudy came to the rescue. while i'm jumping around and trying to hide from the moth like a madwoman on speed, rudy's hopping around with a tissue (my suggestion).

"what do you want me to do with them?" he asks as he a grabs pink fluffy slipper.
"err. i don't know. but don't kill it!!" he looks at me with despair.
"can't you like use a tissue to catch it and let it go outside?"
a lightbulb appears above rudy's head. he walks out the door. moments later, he walks back in with a plastic bag in hand, armed and ready to go.

so there i am, holding the pink fluffy slipper, rudy with his rustling grey plastic bag.

"can you provoke them out?"
"err... ok." i jump and make a weak attempt at disturbing the moth. rudy gives me a withering look.
"ok ok!" i jump higher and hit the curtain railing. the moth flutters and spirals down towards me. with a shriek, i jump down and lay low on the bed, trying hard not to move.

after much jumping around, patient hunting and aiming, rudy managed to catch the moths and let them go outside the balcony. oh the stress, i tell you.

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 2:41 pm

1 random retorts

At 12:19 pm,  jeanchristie rebutted...

hahaha.. yea i dislike moths too.. ESPECIALLY THE HUGE ones.. bout..3 inches ..*ewwwwww*

 

Post a Comment

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

depression depression depression

it seems to be such a common word these days. depression. prozac. everybody knows somebody who suffers from this mental illness. or somebody who knows somebody. doesn't that make you wonder what is going on with our society these days?

1 out of 10 people in US suffer from depression at one point in their lives. that's a pretty alarming figure if you think about it. what a bunch of sad beings we are, humans. i'm sure many of you have wondered if you suffer from depression.

if you can tick some of these off, chances are you're suffering from depression.

+ constant feelings of sadness, irritability, or tension
+ decreased interest or pleasure in usual activities or hobbies
+ loss of energy, feeling tired despite lack of activity
+ a change in appetite, with significant weight loss or weight gain
+ a change in sleeping patterns, such as difficulty sleeping, early morning awakening, or sleeping too much
+ restlessness or feeling slowed down
+ decreased ability to make decisions or concentrate
+ feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, or guilt
+ thoughts of suicide or death

scary.

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 1:30 pm

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

grossity

i created a new word. how does one use it? simple. eg. "eeewwww!! that's full grossity!" when talking about smelly belly buttons.

smelly belly buttons? yes. indeed. a conversation held between myself, nic and a certain friend. i shall not name him. such grossity should not have a face to be labeled with.

n : "i need cotton wool"
* : "i'll pull some out my arse for you"
l : "ewww. bum fluff!!"
* : "or how bout belly button fluff?" puts fingers under my nose.
l : "GROSS!!!"
* : "belly buttons are smelly things"
l : "whose belly button have yOu been sniffing?"
* : "mine la!"
l : "wah how can you bend down so low?" *suspicious*
* : "you dig dig and sniff la"
l : "EWWWWWWW!! grossity!"

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 8:09 pm

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Monday, November 08, 2004

fellow ragers

now, i've noticed lately how much rage people contain. example :

- angry bangry alky ally
- raging cam
- raging donkey
- me (raging lisha)

now add to that list, a fellow rager. skinny ben. raging scum.

now why has he had the privilege of being added onto the rage list? read raging scum's blog and you shall understand. so much raaaaage... in one so skinny.

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 12:15 am

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Sunday, November 07, 2004

doof doof visual candy

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 6:27 pm

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Saturday, November 06, 2004

HARD KANDY

one word sums it up. interesting.

after a whole day of indecisiveness, we decided to trek to hard kandy to check out the scene. harder music. harder ravers. harder rules. talcum powder is banned!! yoji biomehanika was the feature of the night. yeah... i was like... "WHO??" when he walked past us, i was thinking "whoa, what a freaky looking guy!!" then he climbed on stage. oops. talk about ignorant to the max.

speaking of freaky guys, there was one fucking weirdo pestering us through the night. picture this. small, short, thirty-ish viet guy dancing like he was trying to strip tease. very unsuccessfully. ok, that already in itself is enough to label him WEIRD. rudy was at the toilet at the time while ally, beow and i are chilling on the floor. he comes to me and says "can i invite you to dance?"

took me about two minutes to understand what he was trying to say. he sat down next to me. oh shit, thought i. rudy comes back and tries to get his seat back. so then mr weirdo starts talking to rudy (very animatedly, hands flying touching here and there) about aussies and how much he hates them. he was leaning so close to rudy, i think rudy could've told you what he had for dinner by his breath. hands on his lap, on his shoulder. eeeeeewwww.

then he comes to me. "fuck them! if you want help, i can fuck them up for you! i'll hang them on your door and fuck them up!" stabbing motion and all. WEIRDO!! then he proceeds to ask me to dance. for the tenth time already. obviously "no" isn't in his vocabulary. and i thought sticky summer flies were bad. seriously man, LAY OFF THE DRUGS!!

thank god his friend dragged him away eventually. only for him to come back later, still insisting on a dance. finally he fucks off shaking hands with rudy and giving him a pat. "happy! thank you! happy!"

LAY

OFF

THE

DRUGS

MAN

i'm running on three hours sleep. *sigh* think i shall attempt to get somemore.

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 1:18 pm

0 random retorts

Post a Comment

Friday, November 05, 2004

a long awaited post

9 days. a lot happens in 9 days. like... winning $105 on a horse at Derby Day. and having a fantastic time at Sasha. no, not fantastic. fucking fantabulous!!

thREE of my favourites played - Sasha (of course), Phil K & Keltec. and one i've been wanting to see in awhile - Sean Quinn. a group of 9 asians (without machetes) trooping into "ang moh" territory. ally beow rudy nic ben B simon gavin ming mE (ben can almost be counted as asian)

revelations of the night :

- deep & meaningful with ally
"ally, why don't we click?" *sadface*
"who said we don't click?! we click waaat..."
"we do? oh."
"why do you think we don't click?!" ally on the verge of panic.
"well... i don't know. i never really seem to know what to talk to you about."

ally pokes beow who's happily dancing away with a silly grin on his face. "eh! lisha asked why we don't click!!" beow looks at me and points at ally. "she liddat wan. you think she not clicking, but she actually clicking." beow continues dancing.

"oh." says me with a smile on my face. it's all good then!!

- chuppa chups and vicks inhalers are essentials
- lots of stairs are not good when you can't balance properly. there's something in that water i tell you
- being hefted up like a little girl onto a high platform is just as good as a theme park ride!! wheee
- dragging a guy into the toilet and fucking him in the booth only leads to you being busted by security and thrown out like smelly garbage. pretty fucking embarassing if you ask me. no, i didn't do it in case you were wondering. o_O
- music and lots of water lead to lots of happy loving

enough talk. here's the action.

Alysia S. procrastinated again @ 5:50 pm

0 random retorts

Post a Comment